A Social Story Book Starring Your Own Child

What a Social Story Is, and What This Is Not

The name comes from Carol Gray, a Michigan teacher who worked with autistic children and developed what she called Social Stories in 1990. Her own site explains the method. Her Social Stories follow a detailed set of criteria, and the name is her trademark. Today a lot of families use "social story" more loosely, for any simple story that walks a child through a real event before it happens. That looser kind is what this page is about.

So, to be plain about it: a book from us is a picture book that you describe and we write and illustrate. It is not a formal Social Story in Carol Gray's sense, it is not therapy, and we do not promise it will make any visit go smoothly. It is one more way to talk about something new, in a format young children already love.

If your child is autistic, you may already write social stories every week, and you know far more about this than we do. What a book from us adds is the picture: your child, painted from your photo, in a story you described. If your child works with a teacher, a speech therapist or an occupational therapist, show them your draft. You can change every word of the story, and they will know how to phrase things for your child.

Why a Book With Their Own Face

Most young children will study a picture of themselves far longer than a picture of anyone else. It is the same reason homemade social stories so often use real photos of the child. A boy in a book who goes to the dentist is somebody else. A child who looks like yours, sitting in the big chair with the funny sunglasses on, is them.

That changes the conversation. "That's you in the waiting room. What do you think you'll play with?" is an easier question to answer than one about a stranger. And because it is their book, children tend to ask for it again, which is the point. Reading it once the night before is fine. Reading it five or six times over the week before is better, because by the time they walk in, they already know how it goes.

How to Write the Wish

On our site you describe the story in your own words, in a box that holds up to 1,000 letters, and we write the full twelve pages from it. For a social story the wish does most of the work, so it is worth five minutes. Here is what to put in it.

1. Name the real event and when it is. "Going to the dentist for the first time next Tuesday" gives the story a clear job.
2. Walk through it in order, the way it will really happen. The car ride, the waiting room, a name being called, the chair, the light, the counting, the polish, the goodbye. If you are not sure what happens, call and ask. Offices that see a lot of children are usually glad to tell you.
3. Say what they might feel, and that it is okay. Nervous in the waiting room, a funny tickle from the brush, a noise that is louder than expected. A feeling that has been named ahead of time is less of a surprise.
4. Say what helps. Holding a hand, bringing a favorite stuffed animal, counting to five, a big slow breath, asking to see a tool before it is used. Pick the ones your child actually uses.
5. Be honest about the hard part. If there might be a shot, do not write that nothing will hurt. Write that it might pinch for a second and then it is over. It is better for the story to match what really happens.
6. End on something small and real. A sticker, a trip to the park afterward, calling Grandma to tell her about it. The ending should be something that will actually happen.
7. Ask for it to stay true to life. A line like "keep it calm and realistic, no magic" keeps the story about the real visit. If your child would rather have a friendly dragon in the waiting room, you can ask for that instead. It is your book.
8. Use your family's words. If you call the dentist "the tooth doctor," or the backpack has a name, write it that way.

Then add the people who will really be there. The grown-up who is going along can be added with their own photo, and so can a brother or sister who is coming too. A book can hold up to five characters, people and pets together.

Seven Ideas to Start From

Each button opens our free cover maker with the idea already typed in. You add your child's name and photo, and you can change any word of the idea before the story is written. Swap in the real details: the day of the appointment, the name of the school, the stuffed animal that is coming along.

• The first dentist visit

  For a first checkup or cleaning. Change the day, and add the grown-up who is going.

  “A calm, true-to-life story about going to the dentist for the first time. Show each step in order: the waiting room, hearing their name called, the big chair that tips back slowly, sunglasses for the bright light, the dentist counting their teeth, the tickly polishing brush, and picking a sticker at the end. It is okay to feel a little nervous, holding a grown-up's hand helps, and they feel proud when it is done. No magic, just the real visit.”

  Start with this idea

• A first haircut

  For a first trip to the barber or the salon, or for a child who dreads the next one.

  “A calm, true-to-life story about getting a haircut at the barbershop. Show each step: climbing into the big chair or onto a booster seat, the cape around their shoulders, the cool spray of water, the snip-snip of the scissors, the buzzing clippers that tickle, the little hairs that fall, and looking in the mirror at the end. It is okay if the noises feel strange, sitting still for a little while is brave, and a sticker is waiting at the end. No magic, just the real haircut.”

  Start with this idea

• The first day of school

  For preschool, kindergarten, or a new school. Add the name of the school and the teacher if you know them.

  “A calm, true-to-life story about the first day at a new school. Show each step: walking up to the school with a backpack on, the hug goodbye at the classroom door, meeting the teacher, finding their cubby, circle time, playing outside at recess, eating lunch with new friends, and being picked up at the end of the day. It is okay to feel shy or to miss home, grown-ups always come back, and by pickup time there is something they want to tell about. No magic, just a real school day.”

  Start with this idea

• A new baby brother or sister

  For the older child, before the baby comes. If the baby has already arrived, add them with their own photo.

  “A gentle, true-to-life story about becoming a big brother or big sister. Show what will happen: getting the baby's things ready, a grown-up they love staying with them when it is time for the baby to be born, visiting the hospital to meet the new baby, how tiny the baby is, and how new babies mostly sleep, eat and cry. It is okay to feel excited and also a little left out, they can help in small ways like fetching a diaper or singing a song, and they are loved just as much as before. No magic, just the real changes.”

  Start with this idea

• A visit to the doctor

  For a checkup or a vaccine visit. Leave out the shot if there will not be one.

  “A calm, true-to-life story about a checkup at the doctor's office. Show each step: the waiting room, standing on the scale and against the height chart, the nurse checking their temperature, the cold stethoscope listening to their heartbeat, the little light for their ears and throat, and maybe a shot that pinches for a second and then is over. It is okay to feel worried, squeezing a grown-up's hand and taking a big breath helps, and a bandage with a picture on it comes at the end. No magic, just the real visit.”

  Start with this idea

• Moving to a new home

  For a move across town or across the country. Add the details your child cares about, like where their bed will go or a park near the new place.

  “A gentle, true-to-life story about moving to a new home. Show what will happen: packing toys into boxes and writing their name on them, saying goodbye to the neighbors, watching the big moving truck get loaded, the drive to the new place, finding their new room, unpacking their favorite things first, and exploring the new neighborhood. It is okay to feel sad about leaving and excited about the new place at the same time, and everything important is coming with them. No magic, just the real move.”

  Start with this idea

• A first plane ride

  For a first flight, or a long trip to see family.

  “A calm, true-to-life story about flying on an airplane for the first time. Show each step: rolling a suitcase through the big airport, waiting in the security line and putting their bag on the moving belt, watching the planes through the big windows at the gate, finding their seat and buckling the seat belt, the rumble and whoosh of takeoff, ears that feel funny until they swallow or yawn, a snack and a window full of clouds, and landing where someone is waiting to hug them. It is okay if the noises feel big, and the grown-ups are with them the whole time. No magic, just the real trip.”

  Start with this idea

Before You Read It Together

• Look at the free preview first. The cover and the first two pages are written and illustrated before you pay anything, so you can see how the story begins and whether it sounds like your family.
• Read every page yourself before your child does. Once the whole story is written you can change any word on any page. If something does not match how your dentist or your school does things, fix it. If a picture is not right, it can be drawn again: three free redraws during the preview, and at least 15 more after you unlock the book.
• Pair it with the real place. The pictures are painted scenes, not your dentist's actual office, so if you can, look at the office's photos online together, or drive past the new school on a weekend.
• Start a few days ahead. Read it together several times in the week before. Point to the pictures and ask what they notice, what they might say, what they want to bring.
• Read it again afterward. The day after, read it once more and talk about what was the same and what was different. The book becomes a record of something they did.
• Choose the format by the date. If the visit is only days away, the digital book is the one to get: you can read it together on a tablet or phone as soon as it is ready. A printed copy has to be printed and shipped, so allow two to three weeks for it, longer outside the US.

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